Romance Mistakes

Being romantic is wonderful, fun and especially rewarding but unfortunately, many people make mistakes we all make in relationships that can simply undo all of the good that has been done by romantic efforts.  For instance, every couple has disagreements and upon occasion the argument has a definitive outcome.  The spouse that was right during the argument has two choices when ‘winning’- he or she can not see it as winning and simply move on or express understanding as to why there may have been some confusion.  Or, he or she can gloat and make their spouse feel inferior and possibly humiliated.  One works (the moving on one...) and one doesn’t (the gloating one).

Conflict is often unavoidable when two people from two different backgrounds with different beliefs are brought together.  If you happen to be the one in a disagreement who doesn’t come out as the ‘right’ one or you don’t get your way, the worst thing you can do is to pout.  It’s simply childish, not sexy at all and your partner will most likely have a difficult time finding respect for you as a result.

While worry is a natural part of life, try not to let it overwhelm your relationship.  Wouldn’t your rather focus on much more positive things like romance?  If you find that you and your spouse schedule a lot during the week, sit down and try to eliminate some commitments.  Don’t over-schedule any time that you don’t have to, including vacations and weekends.

Make choices that benefit both you and your spouse.  Instead of turning on the television, ask your wife or husband if they would like to play a board game or go for a walk.  If you decide to watch television together, never guess at the plot or give away the ending of a movie!  Try to support your spouse’s authority in front of the children.  If you disagree about what was done, wait until you can talk quietly with your spouse and discuss why and how things may have been done differently.  He or she can always go back and change their mind or you may eventually come to support his or her decisions.

Make as much as possible in your relationship about ‘us’ instead of about ‘you’.  This doesn’t mean that you or your spouse has to sacrifice his or her individuality, it simply means that all decisions and thoughts about the relationship should be about both needs instead of your own individual needs.  For instance, if you happen to be or sleep with someone who ‘hogs’ the bed covers go out and find an extra, extra large blanket so that there’s plenty for both to share.  Don’t make an issue out of it- make a joke and provide a solution.

Show your spouse that you are a loving and mature individual by doing mature and loving things like never holding grudges or continuously bringing up errors from the past.  You can also be a good listener, never interrupt and wait your turn.  And most importantly, don’t allow a day to pass by without telling your spouse that you love them.

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A Creative Romantic Lives in You

Why is it that so many people believe that they don’t have time or take the initiative to be romantic?  Maybe most people don’t believe that they are creative enough to be romantic.  Everyone is creative!  The definition of being creative is having the ability or power to create.  The word create offers a much broader definition than most people accept when it comes to the process of being able to come up with something original or simply well thought out.

Gifts that are considered to be traditionally romantic like candy and flowers are wonderful, but sometimes you need something that goes one step further.  If your spouse enjoys flowers, you don’t have to settle for roses because they can sometimes become unexciting after a while!  Present him or her with something completely original such as a daisy or another flower where petals can be counted.  Ask him or her to play the childhood game of ‘they love me, they love me not’ and watch them pluck the petals as they go.  However, don’t allow for the possibility of him or her arriving at the ‘they love me not’.  Count the petals before you present the flower to your spouse and trim it so that there is an odd number of petals for the right outcome!

Arts and crafts used to be a fun break from the monotony of the school day, but believe it or not, it will come in handy when it comes to creative romantic gestures.  Instead of promising that you will love him or her forever, show them.  Take a piece of paper, ribbon or other material you choose and write “I love you” on both sides from end to end.  Twist the paper 180 degrees and connect both ends of the paper until you have mad what looks like the figure eight.  Tape or glue to ends together.  You can present your love with a symbol that shows them your love for them is an endless love.

Creativity comes in many different forms!  Being creative can mean creating an atmosphere.  If you want to plan the ultimate romantic evening but funds are low or you simply don’t want to have to leave the house, shut down the electricity and imitate a power outage (it’s up to you whether or not you tell him or her!).  You won’t have any distractions or heat, so it is up to both of you to keep the other warm and entertain each other.

Maybe romance is on your mind, but he or she is going out of town. Did you know that people on aeroplanes are typically hopeless romantics?  Any flight attendant would be more than happy to make sure that your spouse receives a special present after the flight has left the ground.  Simply approach a crew member after he or she boards the plane and they are usually more than happy to oblige a hopeless romantic like you!  (You might want to make sure that the gift is unwrapped or keep it to a single rose due to heightened security.)

Creativity doesn’t have to come in the form of gifts every single time.  Gestures like getting up and dancing with your spouse when a special song comes on the radio is quite creative and incredibly romantic!  Whenever the mood strikes you, allow your creative juices to flow!

Save Your Marriage

Save Your Marriage

If your married life is in trouble, you should be able to understand the exact problem and then control the situation. Taking any harsh decision might be embarrassing for the personal and social status of the couple.

It doesn’t matter whether you are man or woman, whether you look after the kids or pay the bills, you should take initiative to resolve the problems in married life and maintain the relationships. This article provides information about some tips to save marriage and to maintain a healthy relationship.

If your marriage is in danger, try not to show your partner the tension or desperation you're feeling. It will make him/her feel suffocated and your spouse will push you away. Always try to control your emotions and keep calm.

One thing to remember is that never beg for the return of your partner. Just show the depth of your passion that will make him/her to come back. One of the important tips to save marriage is to give the space to your partner. A little space may make the things much easier to deal with. Give time to do those things which make you feel good and strong about you. Spend some time with your friends and family. Do such things that increase your self-esteem.

Work to find out an area where both the partners can agree and be happy with the decisions. Always remember that the goal of a marriage is to help and support each other through sadness and happiness. Love is an important bridge in a married life that may keep the couple attached together. Show your passion to your partner in a new way everyday. Use romantic competition and games to get closer or you may send a romantic message to your partner.

One of the significant tips to save marriage is that you should understand each other very well. Then only, you will able to solve the problems in your married life without giving rise to conflicts. Your partner should be the first priority for you and you should know about the hobbies and interests of your partner. You can write a romantic poem or prepare a romantic meal or give a romantic gift to your partner.

Avoid continuously complaining about the small issues and try to ignore the unimportant  things. If there is any serious issue that you are unsatisfied about, talk about it clearly. Have open discussions about it with your partner. Get ready for facing the challenges.

Jealousy may lead many couples to the divorce court. Hence, don’t ever be jealous about the professional and personal progress of your partner. Be honest to your partner and always have a strong belief in him/her.

If your partner is aggressive, you should be calm and keep your emotions in control. Be reasonable, rational and calm. Whenever you lose your temper during the arguments, you generally tend to say and do the things that you actually didn’t mean.

If your marriage is going bad, these tips to save marriage might be useful to bring it back to its previous loving partnership.






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Think Relationship Romance

The best thing about romance in a relationship is that it is shared.  While one partner may initiate it, both end up enjoying any romantic effort.  Romance is a relationship activity and cannot work if both partners aren’t participants.  When you decide that romance is the way you want to go in order to improve your marriage or even work towards having an outstanding marriage, start planning your romance in advance with both you and your partner in mind.  Even if you are giving a gift to your partner, keep in mind how it will affect you when you present it to him or her.  Some gifts are actually meant for both of you although it is presented to only one partner (ex. Massage oil).  Both of you must enjoy the romance in order for it to be effective in your relationship.

While being romantic often draws to mind gifts and planning outings together, you don’t have to spend money in order to be romantic!  You can plan a day where you are completely at your spouse’s disposal.  Devote yourself entirely to your spouse for an entire day.  He or she can ask you to do chores, rub their feet, give them a massage, watch a movie you normally wouldn’t watch together or try an interest of his or hers that you haven’t tried.  Your spouse may also decide that you are best put to use in the bedroom!

When you want to do something extra special, take your spouse on a local ‘honeymoon’ trip!  Find a local hotel that has a honeymoon suite and book it for one night.  Do it up right and make sure it is stocked with champagne, strawberries and whipped cream.  Have flowers and your song available to play in your room.  For her, have new lingerie laid out on the bed.  For him, have new lingerie laid out on the bed.  For an extra special twist, pack a bag for your spouse, hire a sitter if necessary and tell him or her that you’re going out for the evening.  Blindfold your spouse and lead him or her to your honeymoon suite.

Find an affordable card shop or see if your local greeting card store offers any type of multiple card purchase discounts.  Buy as many cards for your spouse as you can.  Store the cards and send them to your spouse intermittently.  You can choose to send them every few months, every month, every week, each day or every waking hour!

Take the time to create your own loving edible baked goods for your spouse!  Make heart shaped cookies, a heart shaped cake or make your own heart shaped chocolates.  Find a heart shaped bowl, pop popcorn to serve in the bowl and spend the entire day watching romantic movies together.

You can take any or all of these ideas and use them for special occasions or throughout the year.  It doesn’t really matter when or how you do something romantic as long as you do it together.

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Can Separation Save a Marriage?

Sometimes, married life may become extremely stressful and the couple may find it miserable to live together. When this happens, some couples wish to have a trial separation which may help to work through the difference between both the partners. In some cases, separation is prohibited by cultural or religious rules and they prefer to live apart though legally remaining married. The question is that can separation save a marriage and does it really work?

There two ways of marriage separation, either informal separation or legal separation. Generally, informal separation is what you both agree by a mutual understanding. There is a formal division of the property, arrangements about possession of cars, credit cards and bank accounts. A legal, formal separation is more complicated, permanent and expensive. People undergoing the process of legal separation go through time, pain and expense.

Generally, separation is not the first step to save a marriage. Many couples first try to participate in marital counseling which may help to work through the differences. Some couples seek out an advice from the friends, family or religious leaders. Many people are successful in resolving their marital problems after participating in couple retreats or marriage seminars.

Along with these options or after trying these options, the couples choose a trial separation. Now, you will wonder can separation save a marriage; is it an appropriate way to save a marriage? Yes, it may be helpful as it gives an opportunity to both the partners to experience the feelings of being separated before taking any final decision. The major advantage of trial separation is that it is reversible.

During the period of trial separation, you may go through marital counseling, think over it and then take the final decision. This separation period gives you ample time to think about your differences, your mistakes, problems in your married life and ways to resolve them.

An absence of daily bickering and conflicts may be effective answers to the question can separation save a marriage. Due to a lack of proximity, there is absolutely no chance for conflicts. Both the partners get enough time to think over their marital problems. Most of the marital problems originate from fear, ego or stubbornness. Resolution is possible as long as one partner wishes to keep trying.

The main purpose of trial separation is to develop the skills of resolving the problems before moving back together and working on improving the relationships. For a couple, a planned separation can be a good time to think, to analyze, to reflect, to calm down and cool off. It helps to make thoughtful decisions and thus work to save a marriage.

In some cases, separation may be unplanned and there may be no plans for marriage counseling, no tentative time-line for separation and no guidelines agreed about seeing others. Hence, before you think about separation, talk with each other about the individual goals of separation. Both should be ready for seeking individual and joint counseling during the separation period.

The answer to the question ‘can separation save a marriage’ lies within the person himself/herself; you need to realise how important your spouse is in your life and how life may be without him/her. 

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