Sometimes,
married life may become extremely stressful and the couple may find it
miserable to live together. When this happens, some couples wish to have a
trial separation which may help to work through the difference between both the
partners. In some cases, separation is prohibited by cultural or religious
rules and they prefer to live apart though legally remaining married. The
question is that can separation save a marriage and does it really work?
There two ways
of marriage separation, either informal separation or legal separation.
Generally, informal separation is what you both agree by a mutual
understanding. There is a formal division of the property, arrangements about
possession of cars, credit cards and bank accounts. A legal, formal separation
is more complicated, permanent and expensive. People undergoing the process of
legal separation go through time, pain and expense.
Generally,
separation is not the first step to save a marriage. Many couples first try to
participate in marital counseling which may help to work through the
differences. Some couples seek out an advice from the friends, family or
religious leaders. Many people are successful in resolving their marital
problems after participating in couple retreats or marriage seminars.
Along with these
options or after trying these options, the couples choose a trial separation.
Now, you will wonder can separation save a marriage; is it an appropriate way
to save a marriage? Yes, it may be helpful as it gives an opportunity to both
the partners to experience the feelings of being separated before taking any
final decision. The major advantage of trial separation is that it is
reversible.
During the
period of trial separation, you may go through marital counseling, think over
it and then take the final decision. This separation period gives you ample
time to think about your differences, your mistakes, problems in your married
life and ways to resolve them.
An absence of
daily bickering and conflicts may be effective answers to the question can
separation save a marriage. Due to a lack of proximity, there is absolutely no
chance for conflicts. Both the partners get enough time to think over their
marital problems. Most of the marital problems originate from fear, ego or
stubbornness. Resolution is possible as long as one partner wishes to keep
trying.
The main purpose
of trial separation is to develop the skills of resolving the problems before
moving back together and working on improving the relationships. For a couple,
a planned separation can be a good time to think, to analyze, to reflect, to
calm down and cool off. It helps to make thoughtful decisions and thus work to
save a marriage.
In some cases,
separation may be unplanned and there may be no plans for marriage counseling,
no tentative time-line for separation and no guidelines agreed about seeing
others. Hence, before you think about separation, talk with each other about
the individual goals of separation. Both should be ready for seeking individual
and joint counseling during the separation period.
The answer to
the question ‘can separation save a marriage’ lies within the person
himself/herself; you need to realise how important your spouse is in your life
and how life may be without him/her.
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